Daily challenges build character?

Back when I was getting my masters degree in counseling, one of my professors revealed the results of a study on the effectiveness of counselors in helping people solve their problems. The conclusion of the study was that, on average, people solved their problems equally well whether or not they used a counselor. Talk about having the wind taken out of our sails. Our group of budding counselors was dumb-founded and someone finally asked, “Why are we in this program if we aren’t going to make any difference?” Our instructor smiled and explained. “Many people are able to solve their problems on their own. You never see them. And the ones you do meet with need you, and the difference is that you give people hope.”

I was reminded of this when I was thinking about a conference I attended on the achievement gap (or opportunity gap). One panelist spoke about how good failure was for students, how it built character and made them stronger. He stated that we shouldn’t worry if students fail the WASL, it will make them stronger, better students, but he didn’t provide any empirical data to back up his conclusions. My experience as an educator is somewhat different. Some students respond to setbacks by working harder. Others give up after failure and fall into despair. They have no hope that things could get better.

Over the holidays I read about a man who wanted to make a difference in Washington, D.C. schools. After volunteering a while in the schools, he realized that was not enough, so he convinced a wealthy man to promise a 6th grade class that he would pay whatever it took for each of them to go to college. In 1996, the man made the offer to sixty 3rd graders. The results of his efforts were staggering. In a school system that graduates fewer than 60 percent of its students, 90 percent of the promised students graduated high school on time and 70 percent are in college or trade school. He didn’t just write a check and vanish, he spent time monitoring the students, helping them through the rough times. The adopted students said they felt special, and they tried harder.

Why do these students do so much better than students with equivalent backgrounds? Even if they think the system works against them, they are aware of how to beat the system, how to win if they work hard. It is under their control. They have hope.

Hope is something that comes from within. You choose to look for the possibilities that can result in success, no matter how you define success. Usually it takes maturity, and the confidence that comes from success to realize there is always hope. And sometimes you need help to see hope.

How about you? Do you always see the hope in a situation, or do you usually despair? Or somewhere in between? And what do you share with others? It is your choice — despair or hope.

I choose hope.